Monday, August 24, 2009


As someone who has personally diagnosed and treated literally hundreds of cases of gonorrhea and chlamydia, I find this strangely hilarious.

I felt a strange wistful feeling of melancholy earlier this month when I learned that a new urine test was capable of diagnosing these diseases. The old way that I'd always used - a good old sterile cotton swab - seemed okay to me.

Of course, the "old" method was still better than the Inquisition-worthy method described to us as raw Marine recruits in the early 90s. I won't go into any gory detail, but I'm sure you can imagine what sort of twisted sadistic lies can be cooked up by drill instructors intent on helping young Marines to...err..."...keep [their] honor clean...".

I felt many things when hearing these men explain the non-existent procedure used by the Navy doctors to diagnose "the clap". Not once did I feel "manly".

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